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Archive for the ‘CNN’ Category

POLITICAL CHANGE FOR A DOLLAR!

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The candidates were asked to make change at the last democratic debate. Sadly, Barak Obama and Hillary Clinton had none. If I had 4 quarters for a dollar, I would totally make change for this hot reporter!

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Written by heavynews

January 11, 2008 at 6:55 pm

MIKE HUCKABEE AND CHUCK NORRIS ARE COMING TO SAVE THE MOTHERF*CKING DAY, YEAH!

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This commercial for Republican Presidential candidate, Mike Huckabee, proves that Mike Judge’s 2006 film, “Idiocracy”, was not a futuristic satire, but a documentary from the future. How did the Republican Party fall this far from the tree? We can’t wait for the democratic response – my money is on Hillary doing “Dick in a Box” with Justin Timberlake while gloating that her Johnson is firm on foreign policy.

Written by heavynews

November 21, 2007 at 8:04 pm

WEDGIE-PROOF UNDERWEAR BEST INVENTION EVER!

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Nine-year old inventors created the invention of the century, solving neither-region problems for wedgie recipients everywhere. Fox News broke the story – take that CNN!

Written by heavynews

November 13, 2007 at 9:45 pm

BEHOLDETH THY SUCKAGE!

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Here’s this weeks American Suck Countdown. Enjoy you bastards.

Written by heavynews

May 4, 2007 at 10:23 pm

DONALD TRUMP TRASHES BUSH!

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Donald Trump sat down with Wolf Blitzer at CNN to ponder the middle east. Apparently when ‘The Don’ isn’t molesting models, he’s thinking geo-politics and foreign policy. Where does he find the time?

Written by heavynews

March 22, 2007 at 4:18 am

WHY GLEN BECK IS A SEX MACHINE…

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In what could only be described as journalism’s (and I use that term loosely here) most “awkward” moment ever, Glen “the sex machine” Beck has solidified himself in the annals of CNN history as the creepiest news host ever – a distinction that Lou Dobbs held until now. I felt like I was watching “To Catch A Preditor”.

Written by heavynews

March 7, 2007 at 9:14 pm