POLITICAL CHANGE FOR A DOLLAR!

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The candidates were asked to make change at the last democratic debate. Sadly, Barak Obama and Hillary Clinton had none. If I had 4 quarters for a dollar, I would totally make change for this hot reporter!

MIKE HUCKABEE AND CHUCK NORRIS ARE COMING TO SAVE THE MOTHERF*CKING DAY, YEAH!

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This commercial for Republican Presidential candidate, Mike Huckabee, proves that Mike Judge’s 2006 film, “Idiocracy”, was not a futuristic satire, but a documentary from the future. How did the Republican Party fall this far from the tree? We can’t wait for the democratic response – my money is on Hillary doing “Dick in a Box” with Justin Timberlake while gloating that her Johnson is firm on foreign policy.

WEDGIE-PROOF UNDERWEAR BEST INVENTION EVER!

Nine-year old inventors created the invention of the century, solving neither-region problems for wedgie recipients everywhere. Fox News broke the story – take that CNN!

BEHOLDETH THY SUCKAGE!

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Here’s this weeks American Suck Countdown. Enjoy you bastards.

DONALD TRUMP TRASHES BUSH!

Donald Trump sat down with Wolf Blitzer at CNN to ponder the middle east. Apparently when ‘The Don’ isn’t molesting models, he’s thinking geo-politics and foreign policy. Where does he find the time?

WHY GLEN BECK IS A SEX MACHINE…

In what could only be described as journalism’s (and I use that term loosely here) most “awkward” moment ever, Glen “the sex machine” Beck has solidified himself in the annals of CNN history as the creepiest news host ever – a distinction that Lou Dobbs held until now. I felt like I was watching “To Catch A Preditor”.