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TOM CRUISE SCIENTOLOGY VIDEO!

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Tom Cruise just amped crazy up to 11. I just Thetan’d up in my mouth a little.

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Written by heavynews

January 16, 2008 at 12:04 am

HAYDEN PANETTIERE ON DRUGS

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Hayden Panettiere is an Italian-American actress, singer, and Grammy Award nominee. She is best known for her role as Claire Bennett in “Heroes”, and also had memorable roles in “Ally McBeal”, “One Life to Live” and “Guiding Light.” She’s also slated to release her debut solo album in December 2007. In this faux interview segment, The Heavy Show host Taryn Southern talks with Hayden Panettiere about drugs, and whether heroes use them, especially for 6 months straight.

Written by heavynews

January 11, 2008 at 9:11 pm

KELLY PICKLER SHOWS THE WORLD THAT SHE IS “MORE DUMBER” THAN MISS SOUTH CAROLINA.

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And best of all, she gets to vote! And what’s even scarier is that there are more people like Kelly Pickler and Miss South Carolina than there are of you and your erudite buddies. If you thought there was no chance in hell that Mike Huckabee could be the next President of the United States, guess again. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again ; the movie “Idiocracy” is not a fictional satire, it is a crystal ball.

Written by heavynews

November 30, 2007 at 7:35 pm

MIKE HUCKABEE AND CHUCK NORRIS ARE COMING TO SAVE THE MOTHERF*CKING DAY, YEAH!

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This commercial for Republican Presidential candidate, Mike Huckabee, proves that Mike Judge’s 2006 film, “Idiocracy”, was not a futuristic satire, but a documentary from the future. How did the Republican Party fall this far from the tree? We can’t wait for the democratic response – my money is on Hillary doing “Dick in a Box” with Justin Timberlake while gloating that her Johnson is firm on foreign policy.

Written by heavynews

November 21, 2007 at 8:04 pm

WEDGIE-PROOF UNDERWEAR BEST INVENTION EVER!

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Nine-year old inventors created the invention of the century, solving neither-region problems for wedgie recipients everywhere. Fox News broke the story – take that CNN!

Written by heavynews

November 13, 2007 at 9:45 pm

SUBPRIME FINANCIAL CRISIS EXPLAINED

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If you’re like most people wondering how the the current sub-prime market fiasco got out of hand, then you’re thinking too hard and should get back to spending money you don’t have on things you do not need. But for those of you who just can’t move on without a sound explanation, then watch this gem from the The Long Johns, two english bankers who keep it real.

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October 27, 2007 at 8:44 pm

MAN MOONS MORNING SHOW

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Written by heavynews

October 24, 2007 at 6:24 pm